After watching a live stream on Instagram by itsaliceella, (someone who regularly makes me laugh and smile) I learnt that I could rent a wheelchair for a week from the Red Cross.

I have found it difficult coming to terms with even the thought of needing a wheelchair. I feel worried that if I don’t keep pushing myself to be active that I will lose the ability altogether, (you know, if you don’t use it, you lose it mentality).

After watching the Instagram live and reading other posts/blogs, I realised that it could actually give me freedom. So, last Friday I made that first initial step to rent one for the week to see how I would get on. The lady at Red Cross was so helpful and the whole process was pretty straightforward. Monday came and at 1.30pm the wheelchair arrived! I looked at it like my nemesis, I kept walking past it in the hallway thinking, is this freedom? One day later, I said to my husband can we go out after dinner so I can see how I get on?

Is this for me??

After dinner, we ventured out into the night with Evie and her disco flashing dog collar, and me in the wheelchair. I made it to the bottom of the road and a little further before I realised that it isn’t going to work for me and my short, little arms. My arms ached and hurt, my legs were stiff and sore and sitting even for a short spell was going to be problematic. Also, it was bloody freezing and that was also a contributing factor… Back to the drawing board I guess. Its not as easy as I thought. Maybe, it’s not the right size, it’s definitely not comfortable.

Every day I find the positives and I am as upbeat as I can be, but jeeze! I feel like I’m being tested at the moment and I have been mindful of my well-being as I know only too well that venturing too near the rabbit hole can be disastrous. However, what is so amazing is that I am starting to find like-minded people in places I never thought I would, and it has been comforting to know that I’m not alone. Far from it! there are a community of people that have been there, done it and got the t-shirt, so I can ask questions on a live feed because you are encouraged to do so by the creator (something I have never done before). Every response I have had has been kind and helpful.

On a greyer day, I find myself laughing with people that although find life challenging due to their disabilities, still manage to find humor on what can at times be a challenging way of life. In my opinion they are colourful, dazzling bright stars that really brighten my day. So to them I say thank you! thank you for your honesty, your time and understanding, you all make a huge, positive difference to my day!

I hope everyone is doing okay, I am sending you all a giant hugaroo

Much love

C x